So tonight when I was getting Nathan ready for bed I took off is shirt and noticed amidst crumbs, rice, broccoli and other yummy stuff, a squashed black blob. My first thought was that Nate had a bean under his chin. Wait. We didn't have beans for dinner tonight...the day before...or the day before. (I know it's gross, but it's not uncommon to have several days worth of food stored under Mr. Nathan's chin. Show him a washcloth and unleash a beast.) Bean or no bean, deep in the dark recesses of my mind I knew what it was and as I plucked it out of Nate's neck fold my suspicion was confirmed. It was a spider.
I tried to examine Nathan for bites but couldn't compete with my screaming, writhing son. Instead, I put the spider in a wiper and assumed since Nate displayed no immediate bite symptoms--screaming and writhing are not bite symptoms, I was safe to put him to bed. After tossing Nathan in his crib (and checking for critters)I headed for the computer to look up "Montana Spider Identification." For the next 20 minutes I succeeded in freaking myself out. Lucky for us we don't have too many "Lethal" or "Highly Venomous" spiders that require "immediate medical transportation (ambulance) and intervention particularly for young children and the elderly" but we do have a few. After a thorough examination and comparison of my specimen to diagrams and photos on the web, I concluded that Nathan was transporting under his chin a non-aggressive, low venom Orb Spider, probably picked up from the grass this afternoon. I did, however, positively identify an Aggressive House Spider whose bite is necrotic like the brown recluse that Doug smashed on our bed earlier today. GACK!
You can imagine my surprise when writing this post I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Nathan's little orb spider was not dead but slowly recovering its wits. He seems to be missing a leg or two so my benevolent nature dictates that I put the poor thing outside. Quite a different attitude now that I know he was a beneficial garden spider. I mean really, how would you like to be squashed in the stinky milk folds of a drooly baby?
7 comments:
That is so incredibly disgusting. I'm glad it wasn't highly venomous. I think I'll be shuddering for the next little while.
Hilariously horrible! You have a way with words, Heather!
Awww, just kill it already?! I know, this coming from the girl who wrote a sappy sensitive spider post. I'm a hypocrite. But I'm still angry about the egg that hatched in my house.
Vile, demonic things, those spiders.
And stinky, milky, baby neck folds are delicious.
Oh, poor Nathan! I'm glad he was okay!
Creepy! Yikes! Poor Nathan.
My husband is also benevolent to non-venomous bugs. Too bad for me because harmless spiders abound here in south LA. I'm thinking I need to make a call to the bug man.
Heather!! My mom tells me that you guys are coming down to orem sometime this month!!! AHAHHHHHHH I can't wait to see you all. Tell the Kiddos hello! I miss them so much!
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