I wasn't my best self last night and was reminded by my son that my position in our house was precarious at best. After returning from an evening soccer game, the whole family was teetering on the edge of a breakdown. By 9:00 everyone had been thrown in bed and Doug and I set to work picking up the disaster area we call home.
It wasn't to be, however. James, with his peanut size bladder was out of bed for the fifth time, Nathan lost his binky for the third time, and Daphne had to put on her sparkly headband, ballet slippers, and necklace also for the third time that night. In my frustration, I did something I rarely do; I yelled. No, not just raised my voice, I do that all the time. I yelled so no person in a five mile radius could ignore me. I yelled not at anyone in particular, just at life. "GO TO BED! I WANT TO GO TO BED TOO! I'M SICK OF DRIVING A STICKSHIFT! I NEED A MINIVAN! I'M SICK OF BEING SICK! I NEED A VACATION!" and so on. After a few minutes of ranting the house was completely quiet. I began cleaning once again when I heard the door creak. It was James looking very grave.
"Mom, I have to tell you something."
"What, James? Say it and get back in bed."
"I prayed to Heavenly Father that you would stop fighting."
"Hmmmm. Get to bed." I said unmoved.
"Mom, He told me that if you don't stop fighting, I'm in charge."
"Huh?" I wondered if I heard correctly.
"If you don't stop fighting Mom, I'm in charge of this basement."
James looked at me seriously and with great resolution. His eyes said he expected a challege but how could I challenge a direct revelation from Heavenly Father? I let out a long sigh. "You know James, I would love for someone else to be in charge of this basement....Now please sweetheart, go to bed."
The position of mother in the Doug Tanner Family, ULC(Unlimited Liability Company)is open. All qualified applicants are encouraged to apply.
6 comments:
Wow. I laughed really hard when I read this story. I don't know if it's because it's written well or because I know your kids and can imagine doing/saying all of these things. Hilarious. Seriously, we miss your kids Heath . . . and you and Doug too of course. Love ya!
Cute family. Cute kids. Welcome to the blogging world. I would also love for someone else to be incharge of our house... at least the cleaning.
Funny James. I do not think I am qualified to apply for your position at this time. I am currently trying to keep my own family on a relatively sane course with limited success.
Great bloggers babe! Love you all.
yay! you're blogging! I've been enjoying your sisters blogs but missing yours. :)
I just added you to my Google Reader and noticed this post I'd missed earlier. Thank you for recording this. I needed a good laugh, and this made my day. :)
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